Song as prayer

Yesterday, P and I drove back from Kansas City where we had been spending a few days with my family. When he drives, he likes to listen to books. I find that they pull my concentration from the road, so I prefer to listen to music. We were both pretty tired, but I found myself driving the last two hour leg, and given that my iPod was dead and I had only brought two cds, I ended up listening to a mix of Christian music over and over again. The CD features songs from Jason Gray, TobyMac, Francesca Battistelli, DC Talk, Brandon Heath, and Newsboys. (Hey, don't judge, I like to rock it out old school sometimes.) I call this my "resurrection mix" because most of the songs talk about being brought to life and where God is in tragedy and loss.
Last year on my internship, this was especially necessary for me. I would sometimes find myself listening to the same song in my office over and over as I fought back tears and despair. Somehow, this would calm me. Music has a way of getting into you. I'm sure you've had the experience of tapping your toes along to a song you don't even like, or even singing along thinking 'why am I singing this stupid song??' It grabs our concentration, while somehow simultaneously letting our minds wander.

So as I was driving on I-35 singing along to the words: "speak life to the deadest, darkest night" or "nothing is wasted in the hands of our redeemer" I found myself moved. I kept listening, and as I was listening, I realized that what I was doing was confessing my sins right along with the singer, and professing truth about God, which was full of hope, and giving praise and gratitude to God at the same time. And even though the words came from somebody else, I realized that I was joining in with those musicians in a sort of corporate prayer, which permeated my body and made me really believe that something beautiful could come out of the war in Ukraine, and made me really grateful for the amazing people in my life, and made me remember the promise of forgiveness that has been given to me. I, not an ordinarily prayerful person, spent two hours talking to God and hearing from God through my husband's cd player.

The best part is that this is an effect that lasts much beyond the listening because of the way that music gets into us. My husband, ordinarily listening to his book while I listen to music, took out his headphones and listened too, and was later humming along to the music while making dinner. I found myself whistling it later, remembering the words I had been singing in the car. I think this is why singing is such a universal human behavior: because there is something a bit divine about music, whether that's a concerto or a hymn or a song on the radio, that gets inside of us. It is an incredible gift that is done universally in cultures around the world.

I suppose the title of this post is the revelation: music can be a really powerful way to pray. Thinking about it that way makes it much easier for me to figure out how to get in some prayer time, and I share it because I know how hard it can be to generate prayers, especially when you're in a bad situation or are scared or tired. I write this so that maybe you can also let yourself be guided by the words of other Christians when you're overwhelmed with despair, or can't quite find the words to ask for help, and remember that "the Spirit intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words" (Romans 8:26) when we don't know what to pray for.

Here's one song that makes for a great prayer. :)