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Monday, February 25, 2013

The full armor of God

This morning my personal devotion was in Ephesians. I don't follow any set devotion, but usually try to find something relevant to whatever is floating around my heart or mind to meditate on for a while. This morning I was looking for encouragement because it's lent and my life is a little crazy right now, professionally and personally. I read Ephesians 6:10-17:

 
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his power. Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to withstand on that evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand therefore, and fasten the belt of truth around your waist, and put on the breastplate of righteousness. As shoes for your feet put on whatever will make you ready to proclaim the gospel of peace. With all of these, take the shield of faith, with which you will be able to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

I don't generally enjoy the war metaphors Paul sometimes uses in his letters, because I think it encourages a certain type of martyr complex which is unhealthy, especially in my context (middle America, where some schools still have release time in the afternoon for church education). It breeds this paranoid 'war on Christianity' stuff. There is a war on Christianity in some places in the world where Christians are still persecuted and killed, but that ain't here. But I think it's a helpful metaphor if you are careful to define what you are defending yourself from and how you're doing it. I don't think God calls us to war, but I do think that spiritual warfare is very real in our lives. I got to thinking about what that looks like in my life.

I don't generally feel attacked by outside forces in my life. Maybe it's because I'm a white kid raised by upper middle class parents, but I can't complain too much. I've gotten some funny looks from my fiance's more atheistic colleagues because they don't quite know how to handle starting a friendly relationship with a minister-to-be, but I would hardly call that something I need to defend against. I've found in my life that the harshest attacks on my faith are the most subtle, and usually they're not external. The biggest thing attacking me right now is probably a lack of confidence that I am equipped to do the job God has called me to do. That kind of thinking, at least in me, breeds some despair and fear, and turns out to be very draining of my energy. The thing which is attacking me isn't from the world, but from my own lack of trust. I know it's a lie, but it feels very real to me, and plays on my deepest insecurities of never being good enough or capable enough.

My hunch is that Paul is talking about here isn't just defending against outside things, but against the kind of subtle, insidious lies that threaten our identity in Christ. These lies sound just plausible enough to ring in our heads and breed more lies. We know, of course, that the best antidote to lies is truth, and so he provides tools for defense against the insecurities, stumbling blocks, fears, selfish ambitions and other things that weaken us and our relationship with God and one another. In fact, he begins with the belt of truth, the underlayer that holds your pants up. This is the foundation. Righteousness is not just about our behavior but about our being made righteous. Arm yourself with the identity that you are worthy, loved, and redeemed. Put on shoes that will enable you to live that out, to walk forward proclaiming what God has done for you and others. The shield is of faith, the thing revealed to us through Christ's work, that which gives us something tangible to hold onto--the death and resurrection of Christ. Put on the helmet of salvation and use the word of God as your sword to destroy the lies told to you and about you.

What this meant for me in my reflection this morning is that the most dangerous evil in my life right now is doubting who I am and what I'm called to be. Being tentative about my call sometimes makes me feel like a failure who will never be good at anything. Most days I don't think that's true, but some days I do. But the defense is that even if it is true that professional ministry is ultimately not my calling, I am still a child of God created lovingly, called worthy and given a special calling in the world. I know that, and it's important for me to be able to root my identity not in what I'm doing but in what God is doing for me. I have no idea what I'm doing most days, let alone what God is doing! But my strength comes from the truth that even if I don't know who I am or what I'm doing, God does. I can't rely on my own strength, but I can be strong knowing that despite all the fear and anxiety, insecurity, and everything else attacking me, God is defending me.

Week 2

Monday, February 25th

Reading: Genesis 17:1-8

Reflection:
Sometimes it's hard to see a future of hope in the midst of struggles, fear and uncertainty. God called Abraham to Canaan and blessed him and gave him a promise. Do you feel like this relationship between God and Abraham is pertinent to you and your life? God calls Abraham and his descendants his children. What does that say about you? What does it mean to be the child of someone? What kinds of things, in your best moments as a parent or caregiver, have you done for another? How much more will God do for you?

Take time to reflect, meditate, or pray in silence.

Prayer:
God, my heavenly parent and caregiver, help me to understand who I am according to your promise, and what you are doing with that promise. Help me hold to it when the road is difficult, and help me to remember that you are the source of blessing when your promises are blossoming to fruition before me. In Jesus name. Amen.

Tuesday, February 26th

Reading: Genesis 17:1-8

Reflection: It's hard to take a leap of faith and move forward toward a goal when you aren't sure how to get there. Often in life, God may give you an inkling that you have a mission, but leaves the details up to you. How annoying! Meditate on what Abraham must have felt, being called away from his land and told in spite of being a foreigner, in spite of his old age, in spite of his wife's barren womb, that he would be the father of a nation. How scary!Think about a place in your life where you are feeling led. Do you know how to get there? Are you able to trust the one that called you there? Sometimes trust looks less like an enthusiastic jump and more like a tentative, terrified shuffle. But movement is movement—can you feel God holding your hand as you learn to walk?

Take time to reflect, meditate, or pray in silence.

Prayer: Giver and keeper of promises, it's so hard for me to trust that you're able to get me where you want. I can't see the road and each step feels like balancing over a pit! Help me to see the future, even if I can't see the ground before me. Grant me the ability to feel your guiding presence in my life, and know that wherever I am in my walk of life and faith, you are with me, have always been with me, and always will be with me. In Jesus name. Amen.

Wednesday, February 27th

Reading: Jeremiah 31:31-34


Reflection: You have failed. No matter who you are or how hard you try, you have failed at something. The kind of shame that you feel because of our failures can be stinging and deep. Maybe you feel you failed another person somehow, or didn't make a goal you set. Maybe your failure was of nerve, or a failure to be vulnerable. Sometimes your failures occur through inaction and sometimes they occur through action, both accidentally and knowingly. How have you failed? How have you not upheld what God asks of you? Here are two truths to meditate on; say these to yourself as many times as necessary: I am loved. I am forgiven.

Take time to reflect, meditate, or pray in silence.

Prayer: Lord who knows my every failure and secret shame, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I failed you. I'm sorry I couldn't do better. I want to hear your voice and listen, but I'm not capable of living rightly without your help. Help me, forgive me, and please let me feel your love which I so desperately need. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Thursday, February 28th

Reading: Jeremiah 31:31-34

Reflection: The covenant that God made with Abraham was one that was somewhat contingent upon his ability to walk with God. God asked only one thing: spiritual fidelity, and didn't get even that. You, too, are guilty of cheating on God. Even if you're not worshipping Baal, you put yourself and what you want before God, or you put money before God, or work. With what have you been unfaithful to God? God knows, and because God loves you so deeply God made a new covenant, one in which your behavior will flow from the law of God written in your heart. That law is love, a law which is not to convict, but to give mercy. God is teaching you that lesson. How is the lesson of love being written in your heart?

Take time to reflect, meditate, or pray in silence.

Prayer: Dear Lord, thank you for forgiving me and loving me even when I'm unfaithful. Thank you so much for giving me the gift of your son despite my unworthiness and inability to be true to you and only you. I love you, and I want your love to be written in my heart so that every action I take is rooted in love, mercy, and forgiveness. Please transform me so that I can live this way. In Christ's name I pray. Amen.


Friday, March 1st

Reading: Galatians 3:23-29

Reflection: Paul calls the law the guardian or, in Greek, it roughly means a babysitter. What does it mean that we were once babysat by the law? When you think of your relationship to doing good works, do you do it because that's who you are, or do you do it because you want to be good enough? Can you ever be good enough? Sometimes in our attempts to be good Christians, it's easy to get carried away in the doing and forget the being. Is it hard for you to stop worrying about being good enough? Our identity is rooted not in what we do, but in what God has done for us.

Take time to reflect, meditate, or pray in silence.

Prayer: Lord of life, thank you for your gift of the law and for your love. Help me to understand that your love for me comes first, and that my living out of the law comes as an outpouring of my love for you. Teach me to trust in your redemptive action rather than putting my faith in my own ability to save myself. Thank you for what you do for me today and every day.

Saturday, March 2nd

Reading: Galatians 3:23-29

Reflection: Pain, suffering, failure, and fear can rob us of our identity, causing us to forget that we are children of God. Why does that identity matter? If your identity is invested in your own abilities and successes, failure and difficulty can leave you feeling lost. Paul declares that we have a new identity, not one that is as basic as race or even gender, but that our identity is as a people redeemed by the cross of Christ and his resurrection. Children of God are loved and worthy of sacrifice. Children of God are recipients of the promise to draw us to new life. No longer are you adrift or reliant only on your own success, but you are surrounded by a community of faith, and more importantly, you are lifted up as an inheritor of the kingdom of God. Who are you?

Take time to reflect, meditate, or pray in silence.

Prayer: God, remind me who I am to you. Remind me that the sum of my self worth is not made up of my accomplishments or failures, and it's not about where I'm from, who my parents are, who I marry, or how good my children are. Teach me that because of what your son did for me, the only identity I must bear now is this: beloved. In the name of Christ who called me friend. Amen.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Week 1

 Monday, February 18th

Reading: Genesis 1:26-31


Reflection:
You are a created being, born out of chaos and void and lovingly crafted not only as a human being, but as an individual. Try to comprehend the vastness of the mind which holds every speck of dust and every individual who ever has or ever will live. Contemplate the greatness of God, and your insignificance/significance. You are both a tiny blip in a vast universe, and something that was lovingly crafted like a work of art. Who is God? Who are you? What do you feel in relation to God?

Take time to reflect, meditate, or pray in silence.

Prayer: Lord, help me to understand who you are so that I can better understand who I am to you. Teach me to know you and your ways, and to hear the sound of your voice calling me beloved child. You created all that is with great attention to detail. Give me perspective to understand your plans for me, and to learn to humbly walk beside you. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Tuesday February 19th

Reading: Genesis 1:26-31

Reflection:
You were created in God's image, and gifted with responsibilities to care for this world and utilize its gifts in order to live and thrive. Think about the birds of the air and their roles—do you suppose they worry about where their next meal will come from, or that they trust that it will come? Do they even reflect on their mortality at all? The life of a bird can be snuffed out in an instant, and yet its life is not without purpose. How much greater, then, is your purpose? How much greater should your trust be?

Take time to reflect, meditate, or pray in silence.

Prayer: God, you created all things with the intention of them growing and thriving to success. Give me faith to know that you are with me, and that you have a purpose for me. Show me that, as one lovingly created, you want me also to thrive and grow. Although sin and human brokenness sometimes get in the way of those good things, help me to feel your hand in my life. In Christ's name. Amen.

Wednesday, February 20th

Reading: Mark 4:35-41

Reflection:
Have you ever felt like Jesus is asleep, not caring that you are perishing? Does it feel like sometimes unexpected things keep happening and that you will drown if you aren't rescued? Jesus' disciples were afraid for their lives, and Jesus was sleeping. Yet when he woke up, he spoke to them as if they should have known that he was protecting them despite the storm. Can you feel Christ despite the storm raging around you? Have you ever not come through the storm?

Take time to reflect, meditate, or pray in silence.

Prayer: Heavenly Lord, you are never asleep. You are never unaware of the storms in my life, but sometimes it feels that way. Teach me when to ask for help and when to ask for trust. Help me to remember that with you, the story never ends with the storm. In Christ's name. Amen.

Thursday, February 21st

Reading: Mark 4:35-41

Reflection:
Jesus is God, and as such has power to enact changes we can hardly imagine. He transformed water into wine, and made a feast for thousands out of a lunch for a small boy, and his words even calmed a storm. If Christ can do that, what else do you think he can do? Our minds are small and our imagination weak compared to the things God can accomplish. Even the storm obeys God. What else does God have dominion over?

Take time to reflect, meditate, or pray in silence.

Prayer: My God, you are powerful beyond my wildest imagination. The things you can accomplish are as limitless as the universe. Help me to remember this power in the midst of the storm, knowing that you can and will and do calm all the difficulties in my life. Show me that even when it seems like the storm has victory temporarily, you are ultimately victorious over all sin and death.

Friday, February 22nd

Reading: Luke 18:35-43

Reflection:
You probably don't have to think very hard to remember a time when you felt abandoned and alone the way this blind man near Jericho felt. He was rejected by his family and friends, because his ailment was considered to be a curse from God in those days. When Jesus went by, his disciples rebuked him but he became more determined. Do you think the man felt absolute certainty that Jesus could heal him? Or do you think perhaps he was desperate enough to try anything? Could it be that Jesus is where we reach not when we are certain in our faith, but when we are desperate?

Take time to reflect, meditate, or pray in silence.

Prayer:
Lord, you come to me when I am most in need, and when my meager plea for help comes not from faith but from fear. Help me to accept that I am human and my fear is not a lack of faith, but an expression of hope. Remind me that when I am most afraid and desperate are the times when you are filling me with the hope and strength to call out. Please reveal yourself when I cry to you. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Saturday, February 23rd

Reading: Luke 18:35-43

Reflection:
Jesus meets a blind beggar on the road who asks for restoration—something which we would think would be completely impossible, and yet the beggar was bold enough to ask. What do you not ask for fear of hearing an answer you don't like? What might be given to you if you were bold enough to ask? Maybe our imaginations are too small. We can't limit God's power, but maybe we limit what we think God's power is. What do you think might change if we could imagine a future like the one God has imagined for us?

Take time to reflect, meditate, or pray in silence.

Prayer: God, teach me how to ask bold questions with a scope of imagination far wider than what I have now! Give me eyes to see the way the blind beggar saw hope for a different future. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Lenten devotions - Introduction

This is the online version of the Lenten Devotions I am writing for my church. They are available in the church narthex, but I wanted to make them available for my congregation online as well.

Introduction

Greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ who comforts us in our darkest nights!

A couple months ago I hatched this brilliant idea to write a Lenten devotion, pulling together simple reflections, prayers, and thoughts based on the lectionary texts of the season. This has proved to be a challenge to me, not least of all because of my habit of procrastination, but also because of trying to mash a topic and a bunch of somewhat arbitrary lectionary texts. Not long after Christmas, Pastor Kirk and I sat down to discuss themes for Lent, and determined that a recurring theme for us as a church, community, and nation was fear. We've been dealing with divisiveness in politics, and tragedy in the world, and personal trauma and injury. Fear is all around us. In fact, fear is so pervasive that sometimes it's overwhelming and seems to blot out all sense and reason. It's an infection of the imagination, and one that's exceedingly difficult to overcome. How could I begin to address it?

One of my favorite authors wrote a comment about “breeding dragons in map margins.” The idea is that it's easy, when the road isn't clear and we don't know what's going to happen (like, you know, happens in all of life), for our imagination to get the best of us and start hatching all sorts of evil and danger lurking just out of sight. Human imagination can be a beautiful thing, but also very powerful, and even more powerful when spurred on by the forces of evil. Fear is one such force. The author of 1 John wrote that perfect love casts out fear, but unfortunately the opposite is evident sometimes too. Fear can get in the way of love by driving a wedge of anxiety and distrust between us and our loved ones, and between us and God. Things that separate us from God are essentially the definition of sin. Fear which preserves us can be healthy, but fear which overwhelms and destroys us is nothing but evil.

As I mentioned above, originally, I planned to take the lectionary texts for each week and write a little reflection about them with a prayer, a task which seemed relatively straight forward and simple to execute. But after much prayer and reflection on this matter, I have been led to structure this Lenten devotion around six themes with appropriate verses which I hope will help you to confront whatever anxieties or fears are working on you right now. Lent is all about acknowledging our mortality (and sinfulness) in order to fully embrace our resurrection, which is made possible through Christ. As we journey toward the cross, we remember that perfect love does indeed cast out fear, and that perfect love is embodied in our savior Jesus, who died a prisoner's death to set us free from the powers of sin and death, and all the terrors held therein. I hope that, even if you are not a particularly anxious person, you might find reassurance and strength in the reflections, meditations, and readings provided in this study. It is in the presence of God that fear seems to shrink away and lose its power. Christ has dominion over all things, and victory over all that binds us.

Here is a brief instruction for the intended use of this study. For each week, I am providing three readings. This is because often we do a study and forget about what we read or thought about by the next day. My goal is that, in revisiting each text with different exercises and prayers, you might find new insights or may be able to give yourself license to listen and discern as the Spirit works, knowing you will have another opportunity to really think about the text the next day if you choose. I also encourage you to read these texts out loud. Scripture was originally passed as an oral tradition, and I believe that reading scripture is an act of prayer in which we open ourselves to the movement of the Holy Spirit, the very same Spirit which moved through the authors of the Bible to give us the words we now study. If you can, find a time to be alone, or if you prefer, read these texts with your spouse, partner, or children, taking turns with verses or reading them to one another twice. On the other hand, I also acknowledge that everybody communes with God in different ways, so to quote a song I like “however you call, don't forget to call.” Do what feels natural and know that God is working! You can always find me if you have any questions about the study itself or want to talk about anything you've been working with as you move through it. Let us journey together toward the cross.

In peace,
Intern Gwen

Monday, February 11, 2013

Sermon on Luke 9:28-43

--> Tell me if this is something you've said before: “I don't know why you won't just listen to me! It's like my mouth is moving and no sound is coming out!” You snap your fingers or stomp your feet, but no matter what you do, it seems like the message is getting lost. Maybe this is a conversation you have had with your spouse, or children. One of the most important parts of any relationship is feeling like you're being heard, but in actuality, just being heard is not usually enough. What we want is a response. If you say “Listen to me, clean up your room!” you're not saying you want your kid to listen to you nodding and then do nothing, right? You're saying “Clean up your room!” You expect a response! We've seen throughout the entire book of Luke this message, which started with an announcement from the angels and continued in Jesus' baptism, and here again at the transfiguration you have been given a message. But the message is more than just words—it's a call to action, and one directed at you and me.

So here's how this story unfolds. One day after Jesus has started his ministry, he and three disciples decide to go up a mountain to pray. Peter, John, and James follow him up and sit with Jesus while he has some personal time with God. While he's praying, Jesus' face and clothes suddenly transform to dazzling white. Just as suddenly, Moses and Elijah appear and talk to Jesus about what Jesus was “about to accomplish in Jerusalem.” Imagine being a disciple and watching this transformation and miraculous conversation with two dead men! They finish their discussion and are about to go down the mountain. Stunned by what he's seen, and also very sleepy, Peter makes a little suggestion. He says, “Hey, let me make three little dwellings for you and your company!” This sounds like a pretty good idea, right? It's something polite to do for visitors. And Jesus doesn't even dignify this suggestion with a response. Awkward.

In fact, after Peter's odd comment, something even stranger happens: a dark cloud rolls in and a voice like thunder declares: “This is my Son—listen to him!” and once the cloud departs, Elijah and Moses are gone. This whole text seems to be pointing to who Jesus is and what he's supposed to do as “the Chosen” or Messiah. Jesus' transformed appearance is kind of like a flashing, neon sign saying 'this guy is special!' And then we have Moses and Elijah, who brought the law and called Israel to return to God's way. It seems pretty clear that Jesus is important, the next guy in this succession, and more than that, the author of Luke wants you to know just exactly who he is: the Son of God. Clearly the disciples understood that. Peter, about 10 verses before, confesses that Jesus is the Messiah. He recognizes that he's not out of place shooting the breeze with Moses and Elijah. So why does Jesus ignore him? Why does God's voice call out that Jesus is the Messiah and that Peter should listen. Hasn't he been listening?

He's missing something, but what? The word Peter uses here for a dwelling would almost surely be recognized by the Jewish audience as relating to a particular Jewish festival, the festival of booths or tabernacles, which were temporary structures like the ones that the Israelites lived in while they wandered in the wildnerness. The point of this celebration is to serve as a remembrance of the time they spent wandering in the desert, as well as a celebration of the harvest and God's provision in bringing them out. This festival was a fun, and lively event that took place after Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, and the most solemn of all Jewish holidays. Peter's suggestion to build a dwelling, then, is more than just a polite offer to house strangers, but something which reaches back in historical memory to celebration. The problem is, the work isn't done yet. In fact, Jesus is barely getting started.

Have you ever been to Christian summer camp, youth gathering, a WELCA gathering, or mission trip? My brother went to Mexico when he was in high school, and had an awesome trip. He spent a week building houses for poor people, and climbing mountains, and praying and singing together with his friends. It was really hard for him to come back after that experience, because he had kind of literally been at the top of a mountain, feeling God's presence and feeling pumped up and excited for Christianity. He was determined to do devotions every day and do prayer group and youth group, and... well, how long do you think that lasted? How long does it ever last after those experiences? A few days or weeks, maybe, but then we realize that we're not on the mountain anymore, and Christianity isn't quite as interesting when you're not saving lives or building houses or having revival style worship with your peers. You settle in and wait for the next mountain top experience, but in the meantime, what do you do?

Peter suggested building booths; staying up on the mountain because Jesus was God, and should have been in the company of such great men like Moses and Elijah. Moses, who brought the law, Elijah, who called the people to turn back to God, and Jesus, the next great voice, leader, and ruler of the people. Peter wanted mountain top Jesus. And sometimes that's the Jesus we want too. We want the Jesus who is God, who is king, who is seated on a throne and ruling us. But the reality is that, yes, God has declared Jesus the chosen, but he also said listen to him. Don't just physically perceive Jesus. Don't just acknowledge that Jesus is speaking by nodding your head. Like asking your kid to clean up his room, Jesus is telling you through his identity who you are, and what you are called to do. And what you are called to do is listen to the sound of Jesus' feet and follow. And Jesus always goes down the mountain.

Jesus goes down the mountain to the boy who has a demon, and he casts out the demon and heals the boy. Jesus goes down the mountain and sends his apostles out in mission to the world. Jesus goes down the mountain and teaches with parables and talks to Martha and Mary. Jesus goes down the mountain to heal the cripled, the blind, to be with the beggar, the tax collector, the prostitute, and to raise the dead. Are you getting what I'm saying here? Jesus goes down the mountain. Listen to him! And not just with your ears.

Next week we will gather to receive the sign of ashes on our foreheads. We'll come together and be told that we are dust, that we are mortal, and sinful, and in great, great need of help. Next week we will begin our journey to the cross with Christ, as he comes down the mountain and travels toward Jerusalem. And that's exactly where you should want him to be. Because you're not up on the mountain. Most of the time, you're not on top of the world. You're not overwhelmed by your vast resources and constantly happy home life and lack of concern about health or school or whatever. We know that family members get sick, and jobs are lost, and economies change, and our lives aren't lived on mountain tops. Our lives are lived in the valley, where we're scared; where sometimes we're so weighed down with loneliness that it's hard to move forward. We're in the valleys of sin and pain and struggle and bad marriages and divorced parents and bad grades and broken friendships. We live in the valley, and that's exactly where we need Jesus to come.

Salvation doesn't come when you're on the mountain, does it? Because that's not where you need it, that's not where we live most of the time. Salvation comes at the foot of the cross. It comes where Christ laid down his life in a very dark and scary moment, because without Christ's willingness to be in the valleys of life and death, there would be no mountain tops. There would be no resurrection.

Listen to him. Listen to him, and respond to him by being willing to go into the valleys, and living in all the messy, difficult, ugly crap of life, with your own mess, with your neighbor's mess, and with a stranger's mess. Because Jesus is in the mess, and is calling you to the mess to show love and care and healing and comfort to the world. Jesus may have met Elijah on the mountain, but he meets you in the mess. This is the Son of God. Listen to him.

In the name of Christ Jesus our Lord, who cleans up our messes and walks with us through dark valleys, amen.